Stop trying to make U/B Ice Age a thing / It's not going to happen
A mean girls post.
Your colleague has been pushing the new project management tool for six weeks. There are mandatory training sessions and a launch email with confetti in it. Everyone still uses the shared spreadsheet, and it is going to stay that way. A friend keeps suggesting a "quick pint" with the group from that one holiday. You've seen the group chat. It is a hundred and forty unread messages and one photo of a sandwich. It's not going to happen. Your mate announces he's finally starting a podcast, with a microphone he bought in March and a name he has changed four times. Episode one is a recording of him saying "so, yeah" to a laptop. There will not be an episode two. Your flatmate's plan to do the washing up "first thing" has been running since Tuesday. The pan has now grown its own ecosystem. First thing is not going to happen. **Why it caught on:** the picture is a still of Regina George, played by Rachel McAdams, from the 2004 film *Mean Girls*. In the scene, she tells Gretchen to stop trying to make "fetch" happen because "it's not going to happen". The line was lifted as a template for any hopeless trend, product or plan, from Google+ to office software, and it spread because everyone knows something that is never going to catch on.