Happy fucking birthday
A Tard the Grumpy Cat post.
Your phone buzzes with a cheerful reminder that it's your birthday. You smile politely at the card, the cake and the singing. Then you go home early and tell nobody. A colleague asks if you're "excited for the weekend". You say you are. You are not. The weekend is just the same dread with the shops shut. On 14 February, everyone posts a couple's photo and a caption about love. You stay in, eat the cheese straight from the block, and feel quietly confirmed in your views. Someone says "cheer up, it might never happen". You look at them for a long moment. It has been happening for years, and you'd rather it not be a conversation. **Why it caught on:** the picture is Tardar Sauce, a cat from Arizona whose permanently unimpressed face, caused by feline dwarfism and an underbite, was posted to Reddit in September 2012 by her owner's brother. She was named Grumpy Cat, and the captions turned her scowl into a voice for anyone who'd rather not be cheerful, earning her books, a film and a merchandise empire.