storytime jesus Meme Generator
Your mate starts with "so there I was" at the pub. You know this story. You were there. He has added a fight, a famous footballer and a dog. It's better his way.
Every year your dad tells the story of the fish he caught "this big". Every year the fish grows. It's now longer than the boat. Your mum rolls her eyes at exactly the same moment.
Monday morning, Sarah tells the crowd round the office kettle about her weekend. She has turned a trip to a furniture shop into a parable. There's a moral. Everyone nods.
Your friend's voice note is eleven minutes long and begins "okay, you will NOT believe this". You believe it. It's about how she fed twelve people with one lasagne.
Why it caught on: an old painting of Jesus under a tree, a child on his lap, telling a story to a crowd was captioned on Reddit's r/AdviceAnimals in 2012 so the parables sound like a mate recounting his weekend. The most retold stories in history, told the way we all tell ours.
Best storytime jesus posts
- I'm not God / God is not my father. God only updated me with holy spirit of God.
- Guys, I need you to listen carefully / I don't want four versions of this going around
- i once got wasted with 12 jews / woke up 3 days later in a tomb That s*** was crazy
- can you believe she gave birth to me / and she's still a virgin? it's awesome
- For I was hungry and you told me to get a job. I was thirsty and you told me to turn on my tap. I was a stranger and you told me to go back to Mexico. / I was sick and you told me I was now in debt. I was in prison and you hoped I was raped.
- so my dad's all like, "i told them that i created them in my own image" / "and that i am perfect, but they are not. just to fuck with them."
- So there I was / The only white guy in Jerusalem
- SO I WAS SAYING "I'M NOT JESUS, I JUST LOOK LIKE HIM" / AND THEY ARE LIKE OMG JESUS IS DEAD.....
- It will forever be, that politicians craving power will make inspiring speeches / and the especially stupid people will believe them
- Kad mi kazu: "Isuse treba jos vina" / Ma reko nemas beda frende
- so i'm like, "dad, i already told them that we won't judge them, as long as they have faith in us" / and my dad's all like, "i'm going to judge them anyways. just to fuck with them."
- Ha ha ha! Nema problema. / Allah n-are habar! :-)
- So then he screams: Allah akbar! / and everyone runs like fuck
- and in about 500 years, some idiot named mohammad is gonna go around claiming to be / some prophet & messenger of "allah". kill him and throw his body in the sewer as fast as you can.
- in the last year of his term, still doing his job / constantly obstructed by dogmatic politicians
- beware of / muslim bullshitters
- memegenerator. net/ instance/ 85263562
- and it shall come to pass / muslims w/ak's gonna hate
- memegenerator. net/ Yall-Motherfuckers-Need-Jesus
- Coming back...? No!!! / I saw more than enough on my 1st visit!