Stalin Says Meme Generator
You buy a smart TV. It suggests programmes based on what you watch, when you watch it and for how long. You watch TV. TV, it turns out, watches you, and has notes.
At 6 every morning the dog decides it's time for a walk. You go where she goes, at the speed she sets, and stop wherever she stops. You don't walk the dog. The dog walks you.
You don't use the office printer. The office printer decides who will print today, in what colour, and whether the document arrives in full. You have learnt not to question it.
At the work party you hide by the crisps so you won't have to talk to anyone. Within four minutes the head of sales has found you. You don't find the party. The party finds you.
Why it caught on: Joseph Stalin ruled the Soviet Union through terror from the 1920s until his death in 1953, and setting him over a red flag made him the stern spokesman for the "In Soviet Russia" reversal joke that was already everywhere. The joke works only because everyone knows exactly who he was.
Best Stalin Says posts
- if it weren't for me / you'd be speaking german
- IN AMERICA, YOUR JOB DETERMINES YOUR MARKS / IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MARX DETERMINE YOUR JOB!!!
- I allways drink vodka / With 140% OF ALCOHOL
- Roses are red, violets are red / if you aren't red, you'll get shot in your head
- In soviet russia / we play super stalin brothers
- Kapitalizm soock / again
- In america, you can always find party / In mother russia, party finds *you*!
- In soviet russia, TV Watch you / This is not joke. Tv realy does watch you.
- in soviet russia we have just 2 tv channels: no.1 is propaganda / no.2 is kgb officer telling you to switch back to no.1
- Roses are red, violets are red, / if you aren't red, you'll get shot in your head. :-)
- In upperclass ameRica, / Taxes pay you!
- millenials / have been dumbed down on purpose
- When in doubt / kill them
- Comrade Stalin "Invites" you / To join Collective farmville
- kids if someone bullys you / send them into exile
- The death of one is a tragedy / The death of millions is a statistic...
- In the Soviet army / it takes more courage to retreat than advance.
- You have not experienced true communisn / until you experience Gulag.
- when life gives you lemons / subjugate your own people with famine and massacre
- Euthanize the boomers