FPS N00b Meme Generator

A twelve-year-old with a headset joins your team and announces he's "pretty good, actually". Eight seconds later he walks off a roof. He explains, at volume, that the game is broken.

At the stag do paintball, the groom's cousin has bought his own camouflage and a tactical vest. He's hit within a minute, in the back, by his own side. He spends the rest of the day in the café writing a review.

Your dad tries the new console at Christmas. He spends ten minutes staring at the sky because he can't work out how to look down. Then he shoots the nice old lady. "Is that bad?" he asks.

At the laser tag birthday party, one boy hides in the same corner for the whole game and still comes last. His vest was faulty, he says. He'd like a different vest. He'd like a different game.

Why it caught on: a baby in a gaming headset became the newcomer to Call of Duty, Battlefield and Halo. Online shooters made millions of people teammates with loud strangers who were sure it wasn't their fault, and most of us were that stranger once, at about twelve.

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