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Christmas dinner, 3 pm. You said you'd only have a small plate. That was two roast potato rounds ago, and someone is now bringing out the pudding as though the first three courses were a warm-up.

The all-you-can-eat buffet sells you a plan: pace yourself, start with salad. By the third trip the plan is gone and you are loading a plate with prawns, a mini quiche and one sad spring roll. Nobody is judging. Everyone is doing the same walk.

Someone offers you "just a sliver" of cake. The sliver is a quarter of the cake. You look at it, you look at the person, and you both know how this ends.

Afterwards you sit very still in the car park with your trousers undone, quietly promising that tomorrow you will eat nothing but soup. You will be hungry again by about nine.

Why it caught on: the picture is Mr Creosote, the enormously gluttonous diner played by Terry Jones in Monty Python's *The Meaning of Life* (1983), shown in the restaurant scene that ends with the "wafer-thin mint". Cut out of the film, it became an image macro whose captions leaned on the old stereotype of the fat man who eats everything in sight. It spread because that same overstuffed feeling of one bite too many belongs to anyone who has ever eaten at a buffet.

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