Chuck Norris Advice Meme Generator
You stub your toe on the bed frame, say nothing, and walk across the room at normal speed. Nobody saw it. Inside, you are a legend, and the toe is a minor detail you will deal with in private.
The wasp circles your table at the pub garden. Everyone else flaps and shuffles their chairs. You sit perfectly still and sip your pint. The wasp leaves. You will bring this up for years.
Your mate tells the story of the fight he nearly had in 2014. In this version the other bloke was bigger, there were three of them, and the bouncer apologised to him personally. Nobody has ever checked.
Eight-year-old you lost a staring contest to a cat, and you have not forgiven it. Whenever life gives you a chance to be invincible at something tiny, like a spider in the bath, you take it very seriously.
Why it caught on: the picture is a photo of Chuck Norris, the American martial artist and actor best known for *Walker, Texas Ranger*, cut out and set against a golden sunburst. "Chuck Norris facts" took off online around 2005 as exaggerated claims about his toughness, and the format of a setup line followed by an impossible punchline was easy for anyone to copy. The image became a template for tall tales that get taller with each line.
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Best Chuck Norris Advice posts
- When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone / he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
- Lost both legs in a car accident / but just walked it off
- LoOked at medusa / She turned to stone
- say nigger loudly around black people / say nigger loudly around black people
- fear of spiders is called arachnophobia / fear of me is called logic
- Chuck norris throws grenade and kills 50 people / Then grenade explodes.
- Just beat the sun / At a staring contest
- when chuck norris playes zombie mode he isnt trying to survive / the zombie's are
- looks at slenderman / slenderman dies
- chuck norris drowned a shark / from the shore
- Chuck Norris doesnt flush the toilet / he scares the shit out of it
- Once upon a time / I built the hospital i was born in
- Chuck Norris / Thinks youre a pussy
- Kim Jong-Il died from a heart attack? / More like a well placed roundhouse kick
- Chuck Norris says: / Stop SOPA
- santa claus used to exist / until he forgot my present
- when life gives you lemons / beat the living shit out of life
- I use windows 8 / in a typewriter
- in high school / teacher's raise their hands to speak to chuck norris
- Math problems? / Chuck norris Adds 2 girls, subtracts the clothing, divides the legs, and multiplies