Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang) Since the dawn of man is really not that long As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song A fraction of a second and the elements were made The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang It all started with the big bang It's expanding ever outward but one day It will pause and start to go the other way Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy) It all started with the big bang Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang It all started with the big bang
A Bad Luck Brian meme.
Bad Luck Brian is a school yearbook photo of a smiling teenager in a plaid sweater vest, braces and awkward haircut. Posted to Reddit in 2012, the picture became the face of absurd misfortune: the top line sets up something ordinary or hopeful, and the bottom line delivers the worst possible outcome. The real Brian, Kyle Craven, took the photo as a joke and later embraced the fame. If a story ends with everything going wrong in the most improbable way, it belongs on Bad Luck Brian.