I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT / BUT IF YOU POKE ME, I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL POKE YOU BACK
A taken meme post.
Someone has added you to a WhatsApp group called "Kev's 40th ideas" with sixty-one people you've never met. By the time you read it there are 340 messages, and the first one you see is a thumbs up. You will find out who did this. The bathroom has a bin with a lid, a sign on the wall, and a flatmate who ignores both. Something has blocked the toilet again. Nobody confesses. The household has become a murder mystery with a plunger. It's the fourth game invite this week, all from the same person, all for a game you deleted in 2016. You've muted them, blocked them and moved house. Somehow the little red notification still arrives. Someone has taken the last of the milk, put the empty carton back in the fridge and said nothing. You stand there holding the cold carton like evidence. Whoever you are, you have made a serious mistake. **Why it caught on:** the picture comes from the phone call in the thriller *Taken* (2008), in which a father calmly tells the kidnappers of his daughter that he has a very particular set of skills and will find them. The speech is so calm and so absurdly specific that people rewrote it for trivial annoyances, from group chats to blocked toilets. It also turns up in friendlier versions where the threat ends in a hug or a happy new year.