Diagnostic House Meme Generator

The consultant is already walking out of the room. You've described a rash, a tingling foot and a weekend of mild tiredness, and he has gone to stare at a whiteboard. Everyone present knows it's something terrible, and nobody will say so until the credits.

You tell the GP your thumb hurts. You get a leaflet about posture. Meanwhile, on screen, a man with a cane would have diagnosed it as something rare, fatal and fascinating before the kettle boiled.

In the meeting, you say the problem is obviously the database. Nobody listens. Three weeks later it's the database. You do not say it, but your face says it for you, loudly, for several minutes.

Someone at the dinner table explains, with total confidence, that a cold is cured by sweating it out. You look at your plate and think about how much easier life would be if people simply stopped being wrong.

Why it caught on: the picture is a close-up of Hugh Laurie as Dr Gregory House, the cynical, painkiller-chewing diagnostician of the American medical drama *House*, which ran from 2004 to 2012. The red and yellow burst background is the standard colour set of the advice animal format, and people used it for House's habits: being right, being rude about it, and announcing a terrible diagnosis in the last five minutes. It spread because everyone knows someone who is always right and never pleasant.

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