weren't you born on a highway?

because that's where most accidents happen

Why fear the unkown

when it can fear you

you tell by the looks that i'm a better man than scumbag steve, right? but how do you know? could be i beat up my wife behind closed doors while he works twelve ours a day to support his family.

you can't judge one's character when you know only 1% of it. it's like judging an ocean by the waves. 99% are only to be seen by those who hold their breath and go deep.

Oh, You like Bad Boys?

Tell me about your history of good relationships

You were in the bathroom for 5 minutes

who is she?

steps outside to see what all the 'buzz' is about

africanized bees

MARY GAVE BIRTH TO JESUS, JESUS WAS THE LAMB OF GOD...

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB!

Fuck mafia!

CUTE GIRL SITS NEXT TO ME

INSTANTLY HAVE TO FART

Likes a girl

avoids her like it's satan

see something stupid on the internet

get mad theres no downvote button

Easter and april fools on the same day

tell the kids to search for the eggs i didn't hide

people complain that i let children starve

while they eat pizza with their lazy ass at the computer

remember embarrassing event from years ago

cringe and obsess over what could have been done differently

Responds to sarcasm with sarcasm

Gets Taken Seriously