Randian Mangod Furry

Randian Mangod Furry is perhaps one of the more confusing (and confused) creatures to inhabit our diverse planet. He combines traits that make him despised by both conservatives (he hates religion and loves porn) and liberals (he hates the poor and loves war).

More than that, he is a creature at odds with himself. His lord and god-substitute, Ayn Rand, tells him to hate homosexuality, hate anything vaguely liberal, and forsake emotion. But he really loves the cock, really wants to f*ck hippie chicks, and he's pretty easy to get riled up. What do?